What is healing?

Healing is a different process for each person. It's our individual way of clearing away whatever baggage and blocks have formed within us through our lives and brought us to where we are today. Healing is the unique process that each of us have which leads us back more fully to becoming our Higher Selves, that part of us which is complete unconditional love. Healing is clearing the fear-based thoughts, beliefs, words and actions that have caused us and others suffering. It is healing of the ego, the lower self. It is the ego aspect that we are all healing because it's this aspect which is always fear-based. It's our thoughts, resulting beliefs and emotions which create our reality and that too easily influence our words and actions. Together with the thoughts, resulting beliefs, emotions and actions of those around us, our experience of the world is created.

There are many roads and methods of healing, no one any better than the next, it depends on the individual to find the process that suits them best, which may change over time as they change. Healing is about clearing away the emotions that are triggered off in life by things that happen around us. Healing is also about releasing the past and changing our ways of thinking. Sometimes we're carrying beliefs from our childhood which will probably not be suitable, helpful or even relevant to our lives as adults. So, we need to change it up and adjust to beliefs that work for us and support us now. I mean, you don't expect yourself to fit into your clothes you wore at age five do you? It's really the same thing with beliefs! Healing is often about becoming firstly more self-aware, as we hold many beliefs inside that we're not consciously aware of but which, nonetheless, have a powerful effect on what we create in our lives and which influence the decisions we make as adults.

When we remove the baggage and blocks, we're ever increasingly able to create more love-based lives, make more positive, healthy choices and decisions and allow ourselves to receive more love from life and from other people by way of support, understanding, respect and help, for example. We become love-based empowered individuals who are healthy and successful, abundant and most of all, loving and secure. Our thinking comes more from our Higher Self, from a loving perspective, which will always create more love! When we see through eyes of love, we open up to witness how much beauty there is around us, which helps us to re-connect with Nature more fully and become more caring for our planet and it's other inhabitants. In short, we care more.

Through Reiki, I was able to unearth all sorts of beliefs I didn't know I had, but upon closer examination, I found out why I'd  formed those beliefs about myself, other people and life and then understood that these beliefs were influencing my decision making and also colouring the way I'd sometimes see things. I refer to unearthed beliefs as 'hidden gems' because they give us our power back. I have worked with many people over the years, who have had no idea why they keep attracting certain situations or types of people, for example, into their lives. They keep repeating the same old patterns again and again. The problem is that this behaviour and resulting situations just re-enforces the old fear-based beliefs, which attracts more of the same. And so we go round and round in circles...sounding familiar?

Healing is about breaking the fear-based patterns in our lives by becoming more aware of what causes it in the first place and then by sowing new, positive beliefs and attitudes into our awareness, which, like small seeds, begin to grow and eventually flower into beautiful new ways of thinking, living and creating! When we begin to sow new seeds, the old beliefs can feel very deeply rooted, causing old pain and feelings to surface. This is part of the healing process and we must allow it to happen by feeling the emotions that surface fully, without judgement and then release them into the past where they belong. Healing can be miraculous, if we can be willing to feel what we have suppressed and let it go fully. Then love can flow into us and harmony (which is health) is reinstated.

Sometimes healing can take much longer, we must respect our own pace and support that. Some beliefs are very heavily loaded with emotions and are entrenched in our minds. There may be years worth of emotional baggage attatched to the old beliefs. If we can do our best to maintain more loving thoughts about ourselves, other people and life, more of the time, we can gradually begin to come back to the truth, to love. This is our Higher Self talking and the more we allow it to command our thoughts, beliefs, words and actions, the more love we will experience in our lives. Love is health, support, clarity, wisdom, grace, forgiveness, compassion, joy and abundance, among other things. Love is the Universal energy that creates everything and everyone, it is the energy that we all use either in love or fear, to create our worlds. Healing helps us to realise this, in our own individual way and helps us become who we truly already are: pure love!

So take some time today, just a few moments, or longer if you can, to take a few deep breaths, calm your mind and go within to your heart. It will tell you what you need to do to heal, to become more aligned with your Higher Self. Begin by getting in touch with yourself and how you feel. When there's a 'problem' go inside and feel what emotions you feel and what thoughts are running through your mind? "oh, that's typical!", "I never have enough________!", "people always let me down!" etc. These are the 'hidden gems' the beliefs that we need to replace with something new that will start to change your thinking, so you can change the patterns of what you attract. Write them down, no holds barred and when you're done, write an exact opposite, positive statement by each negative belief.

"people always love and support me unconditionally"

These are your personal seeds to nurture by thinking them over and over until gradually, you'll begin to believe them- a new set of beliefs are forming-when you think them, try to imagine how that new positive statement will make you feel when it's a reality for you, happy, strong, healthy, safe etc? This is where powerful healing starts to take place, powerful change. Stick with it, remember, you've had those other old beliefs most of your life, so be patient and consistent...for me, it's Reiki that has and continues to help me heal, for you, maybe it's the same, maybe not, just go with your heart to find your own healing path.

Grief and letting go

Letting go isn't always easy, even when we know it's the right thing to do. Be it a loved one, a way of life, health, or peace of mind, loss can be a difficult thing to deal with. Over the last twenty years of  private practice, I have worked with many people going through various stages of loss and grief and various types of grief at that. Often times, when we suffer a great loss, it can trigger a major healing process that begins to dredge up other losses large and small, that have occurred through our lives but which we haven't yet dealt with or fully released.

Grieving is a powerful process and a very individual one. There is no right or wrong way to experience and work through it. Sometimes it may be years after a great loss that we finally are able to grieve, while, for others, it starts immediately. The important thing to remember is that we must look after ourselves and be kind to ourselves through grief and allow ourselves to feel and do whatever feels right or helpful for us at the time.

Allowing the process to unfold is really important, people can be very hard on themselves, expecting themselves to do things a certain way, or just carry on as usual, even though they're suffering. It seems that we have lots of ideas about how we should feel, what we should do and how long that should last! Of course, it's natural for our fears to kick in and try to control the grieving process because it's the strong feelings of being out of control that we're struggling with. Grief brings home to us just how little control we have over life.

Loss of any kind can be very unsettling but this can also be a very positive and powerful time for us if we approach it in the right way. Cultivating faith in life is very helpful, it helps us to relax into life, let go more easily and gradually open our eyes to see the bigger picture. Life is beginnings and endings, it's a cycle of life and we can't have one without the other. If we can trust and have faith in life, we can see that the important things include enjoying life now, in this moment! It's about making the most of those around us and being grateful for what we have, while we have it.

Grief is very complex and it can be so powerful that in some ways, we may never fully recover from it.  It comes and goes, we have no control over it, one moment you might feel stronger, then the next, back to square one. It doesn't follow a pattern where it gets easier over time, sometimes it's harder years later. We must accept that this is how it can be and learn to love ourselves and support ourselves through it unconditionally. Just because you know someone who has moved on, it doesn't make you wrong for needing more time to heal. Be kind to yourselves. Take one day at a time and accept how you feel, give yourself permission to feel the way you do, it's ok. Nurture yourself.

Reiki is perfect for healing through grief because it works to heal and balance us through all our levels and aspects, emotionally and mentally as well as physically. Releasing emotions can be so powerful because grief can bring up so much. There are stages that are associated with the grieving process, including shock, denial, bargaining, anger, guilt, depression and finally acceptance. These are not models though and grief is an individual process. When the time is right, Reiki can help people to accept where they are and how they feel and begin their own process of healing. Reiki is gentle and supportive and helps us to gain the courage we need to move forward. It also helps to clear away the emotional baggage that often surfaces and gives us the clarity we need to heal.

It's important to remember that whatever or whoever we're letting go of, we must come to a place of acceptance so we can let go, forgive and focus on now. Things will never be the same but there is room for more love to come in. When we hang on, we suffer. Letting go can feel painful and scary too but it does pass and is replaced with peace. Remember too, that love never dies, so all our loving connections are always maintained.

Everything has it's time in life, including us, and we must develop our trust that there is a Divine Order to things, that we don't always fully understand, yet exists. Look to the cycles of Nature and see the richness of it, the beauty of the new and the old, the beginnings and the endings. There is beauty in it all! We are part of that.

Call upon the angels for strength and courage to move forward and they can help you. It's my belief that our loved ones including our beloved animals, are looked after, at peace and safe. When my Father passed away, I heard his voice in my head saying "I'm alright now!" after much suffering through cancer. I have felt the pure love of my animals spirits when they have been freed from their ailing bodies. Personal experience has taught me that love endures, it continues on forever, it's the fabric of the Universe. It is our process of letting go that can be difficult, but we must accept that we need to feel the emotions and gradually we feel more peace. We must have patience with our process and remember to be kind to ourselves!

Cultivating Self-Love

I  learnt Reiki, back in 1994, in order to heal myself. I was already working as a Spiritual Healer but this method didn't work for self-healing. As I worked on others, I knew that in order to heal, we all need to cultivate self-love. I felt that I didn't have the tools or methods that I needed personally, to heal and grow as a person. I felt increasingly drawn to Reiki, I'd had friends who had trained but the time had never been right for me before and for various reasons it didn't happen.

Reiki comes to us when the time is right, when we're ready to receive, change or let go. I knew that my intention behind training was to help myself and also, hopefully, others. I didn't realise how life changing it was going to be! The emphasis behind the training I received was about self-love, which then helps us to learn to give and receive love unconditionally both to ourselves and others. If we don't love ourselves, we cannot help others and indeed if we do not look within ourselves, we cannot help others do the same. It's no good reading about it in a book and then trying to pass that wisdom on to others, but it is so much more powerful to continue the journey of self-love ourselves and to be able to counsel or teach from that truth and wisdom that comes from within, from the Higher Source, and from the Universe.

Many things block us from loving ourselves unconditionally, our upbringing, life experiences, cultural beliefs etc amongst other things. The journey of self-love is a personal and individual one, depending on many factors. We must all, however, learn to accept ourselves as we are right now and realise that the Universe loves and accepts us now, unconditionally!  Self-acceptance is key to starting to love ourselves. All the time we believe we're not enough (see my earlier post Self-Worth: You're good enough now!) we attract lack. If we can't love and accept ourselves then no-one else will either, we inadvertantly attract people who reflect our innermost fears and beliefs about who we are or about what we can have/receive/deserve.

Small steps are usually good to begin with, make sure you give yourself time each day to check in with yourself, how do you feel? What do you need? What is your intuition telling you? Start to look after yourself, what would you expect from a best friend, or the best Mum in the world? Be that to yourself! We must all learn to be our own best friends, to listen, care and support ourselves unconditionally.

                                                           
                                                          Be kind to yourself!

This is a big topic, as are most of the things I'm posting about, so I will be writing more over time. For today though, see if there's something that you can do for yourself that will help you feel better, if you're not sure what that is, devote some time to thinking about what you enjoy, what gives you a sense of well-being. Perhaps it's something new you'd like to try or that you've always felt drawn to doing. Follow your heart, that's the part of you that will guide you to self-love. Devote time regularly to doing these practices and you will find yourself feeling happier and being better able and more willing to serve others.

Self Worth: You are good enough now!

Improving our levels of self worth is an ongoing process for most people. There are often some areas of life that we feel comfortable and happy with, yet other areas that prove problematic. Sometimes, on deeper levels, we don't believe we deserve to have what we really want in life, be it good health, enough money, happy, fulfilling relationships, or a great job that we love.

On a conscious level, we may crave these qualities of life but if on a deeper level, we believe (mistakenly of course) that we're undeserving, we'll block the good from coming to us. Either that or the good things will come and then we'll sabotage them as a way to get rid of the good. Sounds mad doesn't it? That we do this? It's true though, but fortunately through healing, we become more self-aware, which means we become more aware of our patterns and beliefs that stem from the past, which are still tripping us up now.

Through our life experiences, we have developed many negative, fear-based beliefs about ourselves, others, life, money, health etc. If we have experienced lack of any kind, we can end up believing that we aren't 'enough' to recieve the love that comes our way from the Universe. Maybe we inherited patterns of fear from our families, perhaps there wasn't ever enough love, time or money to go around. The problem is, that if we continue to hold fear based beliefs about anything, including ourselves, then we will continue to manifest and attract that to us.

By changing to a more love based set of beliefs about life and ourselves, we are able to open to receive the love, health, money and joy etc into our lives. Developing a greater level of self worth is a very powerful process. Opening to receive more sounds easy and obvious, yet, for many it's a scary business because opening to receive means being out of control. It means trusting life, or another person. Opening to try something new takes courage. Often, receiving more can cause powerful healing responses as it triggers off old fearful patterns and emotions from the past. This is a positive step however, as the old emotional baggage must be cleared to make room for new, love-based experiences and a better quality of life.

We can recognise low self worth patterns in ourselves when we catch ourselves 'trying'. If we're only happy when we've achieved something, or when we put our happiness in the future, "when I'm _______"  or  "when I've achieved _______". We make our happiness conditional to something instead of saying "I allow myself to be happy now, as I am now, because I'm good enough / deserving enough right now!" These statements can cause discomfort but this is good, it's a sign that old restrictive patterns are being challenged and loosened and that some old mental programming is on it's way to being changed for something more positive!

It's very liberating to nurture these beliefs about being 'enough' right now. And the other thing is, they aren't just beliefs, they are the TRUTH! The Universe loves us all and wants us to have our every wish come true, we're the ones who block the love, this is how powerful we are! Reiki is excellent for helping to bring to light and then heal old patterns of negative thinking. It re-connects us with the truth of who we really are and clears away the emotional baggage from the past so we can live fully now. Positive affirmations are also great, check out Louise L. Hay's little card decks, including the I can do it cards, they're simple, yet powerful.

There's a lot to say on this topic, so more another time, but for today, allow yourself to entertain the idea "I'm good enough now!" because you are...

Just For Today, I will Not Worry

Hi there, I have lots of topics I will be posting about over the coming weeks, some which inevitably will be revisited from time to time as they are complex and deep. For today, from part of the Reiki Principles, is the statement of intention:

             Just For Today, I Will Not Worry

The Reiki Principles, amongst other things, teach us to take one moment at a time, to remember to have faith that life is taking care of us, even if things don't appear that way right now. By taking one day at a time, we can more easily handle the complexities of life, rather than trying to deal with overwhelming or difficult situations all in one go, we can break it down into day by day, manageable pieces. It also helps us to change our thinking, beliefs and attitudes when we just take it one day at a time. It seems more manageable and this helps us to keep it going to the next day.

A lot of time and mental energy are wasted by worrying about things, people and situations which are out of our control, which is often the cause of the worry to begin with. By taking a breath and handing the worries over to the Universe, we can develop greater faith that things are in fact how they're meant to be. Sometimes by taking a breath and relaxing for a few moments, we can let go of the worry long enough to see another way of looking at the situation at hand, which helps us to release worry and become more centred again. This is when we reclaim our power from the worry and this is when we can see things more clearly.

We must have faith that we are all taken care of and all is in Divine Right Order right now, even if we don't fully understand why things are the way they are at the moment. When we let go of worry, the Universe can help us. When we are in a place of fear, like worry, it cannot reach us, as we have become closed. All worry is fear based, it comes from doubting life, ourselves and others. When we can let go of worry, even for a few moments, or even better, a day, things open up and start to shift within us. There is now room for change and with a more positive, love based, 'faith in life' based train of thought all sorts of positive changes become possible.

Although this comes from the Reiki Principles, it's something we can all benefit from practising. Take a breath and release the worry to the Universe, find a positive thought to have in your mind, or even a word, such as peace, use it as a mantra through the day whenever your mind wanders back to worry. Remember also that worry never helps others or yourself, our loved ones benefit far more from us holding positive loving thoughts and images about them in our minds rather than worry. Situations are also more likely to improve when we hold positive loving thoughts and images about them in our mind. Think about the outcome you want rather than the one you fear.

So, just for today, do not worry.

Finding Balance

Finding balance in life isn't always easy, for most people, it's a work in progress. There are many aspects to us as individuals and also many directions and areas to our lives such as family, work, creativity, fun, friends, study etc.

Often, one area of our life takes center stage for a while, sometimes to the detriment of other areas. Sometimes there's just too much to do, or too little. Finding our own pace, our natural rythm is important. Each person has a different pace and it takes introspection to find out what you need to do and when!

Following our heart, intuition, inner knowingness, takes practise and then courage but ultimately leads to a richer, more fulfilling life. Sometimes we can't always plan everything but instead it can be helpful to go within and find your own voice in your heart, telling you what the next step is...

Sometimes we need to be busy, then still and peaceful, waiting for the next step to come to us. Having faith and trusting our natural rythm helps us create a balanced, healthy and happy life.

Taking time each day, even just a few minutes, can help us connect with ourselves properly and deeply, and often, this is a time when the next step is revealed. Taking life moment by moment is so important yet also difficult, as our mind wants to race ahead and know everything before it even starts.

So, take a few deep breaths now, and relax. Still your mind's chatter and check in with yourself. Ask yourself, am I in balance? What do I need to do to become a more balanced person? Listen to and feel whatever comes, the more you practise, the easier and more natural it becomes.

In future posts, I'll go into mindfulness, meditation and other ways to get more connected to your True Self, to hear your Inner Voice, Intuition etc. So stay tuned!

To sum up, take time to have an overview of your life, look to Nature, there are the seasons, there are storms, droughts, but overall balance. Life can be and should be powerful and deep, there will be ups and downs and if there is balance and harmony overall, then we're on the right track! Life has the potential to be varied and rich and by having faith and trusting our own natural pace, we become healthy, empowered people.

Welcome!

Hello and welcome to my blog! Although I've been working as a therapist for twenty years and teaching Reiki for over sixteen years, it's only now that I'm deciding to start a blog...

I've got another blog on the go too RHWest.blogspot.com which is about my other main passion in life, photography and creativity. It inspired me to create this blog to go with my website HealingWithRuth.co.uk which will, over time include topics about healing, life musings and spirituality. There will, no doubt, be cross-overs between the blogs sometimes but I will endeavour to keep them fairly seperate, so please do follow both if you're interested...thanks for visiting, I will be posting regularly so come back soon :)