Cultivating Self-Love

I  learnt Reiki, back in 1994, in order to heal myself. I was already working as a Spiritual Healer but this method didn't work for self-healing. As I worked on others, I knew that in order to heal, we all need to cultivate self-love. I felt that I didn't have the tools or methods that I needed personally, to heal and grow as a person. I felt increasingly drawn to Reiki, I'd had friends who had trained but the time had never been right for me before and for various reasons it didn't happen.

Reiki comes to us when the time is right, when we're ready to receive, change or let go. I knew that my intention behind training was to help myself and also, hopefully, others. I didn't realise how life changing it was going to be! The emphasis behind the training I received was about self-love, which then helps us to learn to give and receive love unconditionally both to ourselves and others. If we don't love ourselves, we cannot help others and indeed if we do not look within ourselves, we cannot help others do the same. It's no good reading about it in a book and then trying to pass that wisdom on to others, but it is so much more powerful to continue the journey of self-love ourselves and to be able to counsel or teach from that truth and wisdom that comes from within, from the Higher Source, and from the Universe.

Many things block us from loving ourselves unconditionally, our upbringing, life experiences, cultural beliefs etc amongst other things. The journey of self-love is a personal and individual one, depending on many factors. We must all, however, learn to accept ourselves as we are right now and realise that the Universe loves and accepts us now, unconditionally!  Self-acceptance is key to starting to love ourselves. All the time we believe we're not enough (see my earlier post Self-Worth: You're good enough now!) we attract lack. If we can't love and accept ourselves then no-one else will either, we inadvertantly attract people who reflect our innermost fears and beliefs about who we are or about what we can have/receive/deserve.

Small steps are usually good to begin with, make sure you give yourself time each day to check in with yourself, how do you feel? What do you need? What is your intuition telling you? Start to look after yourself, what would you expect from a best friend, or the best Mum in the world? Be that to yourself! We must all learn to be our own best friends, to listen, care and support ourselves unconditionally.

                                                           
                                                          Be kind to yourself!

This is a big topic, as are most of the things I'm posting about, so I will be writing more over time. For today though, see if there's something that you can do for yourself that will help you feel better, if you're not sure what that is, devote some time to thinking about what you enjoy, what gives you a sense of well-being. Perhaps it's something new you'd like to try or that you've always felt drawn to doing. Follow your heart, that's the part of you that will guide you to self-love. Devote time regularly to doing these practices and you will find yourself feeling happier and being better able and more willing to serve others.

Self Worth: You are good enough now!

Improving our levels of self worth is an ongoing process for most people. There are often some areas of life that we feel comfortable and happy with, yet other areas that prove problematic. Sometimes, on deeper levels, we don't believe we deserve to have what we really want in life, be it good health, enough money, happy, fulfilling relationships, or a great job that we love.

On a conscious level, we may crave these qualities of life but if on a deeper level, we believe (mistakenly of course) that we're undeserving, we'll block the good from coming to us. Either that or the good things will come and then we'll sabotage them as a way to get rid of the good. Sounds mad doesn't it? That we do this? It's true though, but fortunately through healing, we become more self-aware, which means we become more aware of our patterns and beliefs that stem from the past, which are still tripping us up now.

Through our life experiences, we have developed many negative, fear-based beliefs about ourselves, others, life, money, health etc. If we have experienced lack of any kind, we can end up believing that we aren't 'enough' to recieve the love that comes our way from the Universe. Maybe we inherited patterns of fear from our families, perhaps there wasn't ever enough love, time or money to go around. The problem is, that if we continue to hold fear based beliefs about anything, including ourselves, then we will continue to manifest and attract that to us.

By changing to a more love based set of beliefs about life and ourselves, we are able to open to receive the love, health, money and joy etc into our lives. Developing a greater level of self worth is a very powerful process. Opening to receive more sounds easy and obvious, yet, for many it's a scary business because opening to receive means being out of control. It means trusting life, or another person. Opening to try something new takes courage. Often, receiving more can cause powerful healing responses as it triggers off old fearful patterns and emotions from the past. This is a positive step however, as the old emotional baggage must be cleared to make room for new, love-based experiences and a better quality of life.

We can recognise low self worth patterns in ourselves when we catch ourselves 'trying'. If we're only happy when we've achieved something, or when we put our happiness in the future, "when I'm _______"  or  "when I've achieved _______". We make our happiness conditional to something instead of saying "I allow myself to be happy now, as I am now, because I'm good enough / deserving enough right now!" These statements can cause discomfort but this is good, it's a sign that old restrictive patterns are being challenged and loosened and that some old mental programming is on it's way to being changed for something more positive!

It's very liberating to nurture these beliefs about being 'enough' right now. And the other thing is, they aren't just beliefs, they are the TRUTH! The Universe loves us all and wants us to have our every wish come true, we're the ones who block the love, this is how powerful we are! Reiki is excellent for helping to bring to light and then heal old patterns of negative thinking. It re-connects us with the truth of who we really are and clears away the emotional baggage from the past so we can live fully now. Positive affirmations are also great, check out Louise L. Hay's little card decks, including the I can do it cards, they're simple, yet powerful.

There's a lot to say on this topic, so more another time, but for today, allow yourself to entertain the idea "I'm good enough now!" because you are...