Grief and letting go

Letting go isn't always easy, even when we know it's the right thing to do. Be it a loved one, a way of life, health, or peace of mind, loss can be a difficult thing to deal with. Over the last twenty years of  private practice, I have worked with many people going through various stages of loss and grief and various types of grief at that. Often times, when we suffer a great loss, it can trigger a major healing process that begins to dredge up other losses large and small, that have occurred through our lives but which we haven't yet dealt with or fully released.

Grieving is a powerful process and a very individual one. There is no right or wrong way to experience and work through it. Sometimes it may be years after a great loss that we finally are able to grieve, while, for others, it starts immediately. The important thing to remember is that we must look after ourselves and be kind to ourselves through grief and allow ourselves to feel and do whatever feels right or helpful for us at the time.

Allowing the process to unfold is really important, people can be very hard on themselves, expecting themselves to do things a certain way, or just carry on as usual, even though they're suffering. It seems that we have lots of ideas about how we should feel, what we should do and how long that should last! Of course, it's natural for our fears to kick in and try to control the grieving process because it's the strong feelings of being out of control that we're struggling with. Grief brings home to us just how little control we have over life.

Loss of any kind can be very unsettling but this can also be a very positive and powerful time for us if we approach it in the right way. Cultivating faith in life is very helpful, it helps us to relax into life, let go more easily and gradually open our eyes to see the bigger picture. Life is beginnings and endings, it's a cycle of life and we can't have one without the other. If we can trust and have faith in life, we can see that the important things include enjoying life now, in this moment! It's about making the most of those around us and being grateful for what we have, while we have it.

Grief is very complex and it can be so powerful that in some ways, we may never fully recover from it.  It comes and goes, we have no control over it, one moment you might feel stronger, then the next, back to square one. It doesn't follow a pattern where it gets easier over time, sometimes it's harder years later. We must accept that this is how it can be and learn to love ourselves and support ourselves through it unconditionally. Just because you know someone who has moved on, it doesn't make you wrong for needing more time to heal. Be kind to yourselves. Take one day at a time and accept how you feel, give yourself permission to feel the way you do, it's ok. Nurture yourself.

Reiki is perfect for healing through grief because it works to heal and balance us through all our levels and aspects, emotionally and mentally as well as physically. Releasing emotions can be so powerful because grief can bring up so much. There are stages that are associated with the grieving process, including shock, denial, bargaining, anger, guilt, depression and finally acceptance. These are not models though and grief is an individual process. When the time is right, Reiki can help people to accept where they are and how they feel and begin their own process of healing. Reiki is gentle and supportive and helps us to gain the courage we need to move forward. It also helps to clear away the emotional baggage that often surfaces and gives us the clarity we need to heal.

It's important to remember that whatever or whoever we're letting go of, we must come to a place of acceptance so we can let go, forgive and focus on now. Things will never be the same but there is room for more love to come in. When we hang on, we suffer. Letting go can feel painful and scary too but it does pass and is replaced with peace. Remember too, that love never dies, so all our loving connections are always maintained.

Everything has it's time in life, including us, and we must develop our trust that there is a Divine Order to things, that we don't always fully understand, yet exists. Look to the cycles of Nature and see the richness of it, the beauty of the new and the old, the beginnings and the endings. There is beauty in it all! We are part of that.

Call upon the angels for strength and courage to move forward and they can help you. It's my belief that our loved ones including our beloved animals, are looked after, at peace and safe. When my Father passed away, I heard his voice in my head saying "I'm alright now!" after much suffering through cancer. I have felt the pure love of my animals spirits when they have been freed from their ailing bodies. Personal experience has taught me that love endures, it continues on forever, it's the fabric of the Universe. It is our process of letting go that can be difficult, but we must accept that we need to feel the emotions and gradually we feel more peace. We must have patience with our process and remember to be kind to ourselves!